Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk
about themselves.
5
HOW TO INTEREST
PEOPLE
Everyone who was ever a guest of Theodore Roosevelt
was astonished at the range and diversity of his knowledge.
Whether his visitor was a cowboy or a Rough
Rider, a New York politician or a diplomat, Roosevelt
knew what to say. And how was it done? The answer
was simple. Whenever Roosevelt expected a visitor, he
sat up late the night before, reading up on the subject in
which he knew his guest was particularly interested.
For Roosevelt knew, as all leaders know, that the royal
road to a person’s heart is to talk about the things he or
she treasures most.
The genial William Lyon Phelps, essayist and professor
of literature at Yale, learned this lesson early in life.
"When I was eight years old and was spending a
weekend visiting my Aunt Libby Linsley at her home in
Stratford on the Housatonic,” he wrote in his essay on
Human Nature, “a middle-aged man called one evening,
and after a polite skirmish with my aunt, he devoted his
attention to me. At that time, I happened to be excited
about boats, and the visitor discussed the subject in a
way that seemed to me particularly interesting. After he
left, I spoke of him with enthusiasm. What a man! My
aunt informed me he was a New York lawyer, that he
cared nothing whatever about boats - that he took not
the slightest interest in the subject. ‘But why then did
he talk all the time about boats?’
" ‘Because he is a gentleman. He saw you were interested
in boats, and he talked about the things he knew
would interest and please you. He made himself agreeable.’ "
And William Lyon Phelps added: "I never forgot my
aunt’s remark.”
As I write this chapter, I have before me a letter from
Edward L. Chalif, who was active in Boy Scout work.
“One day I found I needed a favor,” wrote Mr. Chalif.
“A big Scout jamboree was coming off in Europe, and I
wanted the president of one of the largest corporations
in America to pay the expenses of one of my boys for the
trip.
“Fortunately, just before I went to see this man, I
heard that he had drawn a check for a million dollars,
and that after it was canceled, he had had it framed.
“So the first thing I did when I entered his office was
to ask to see the check. A check for a million dollars! I
told him I never knew that anybody had ever written
such a check, and that I wanted to tell my boys that I had
actually seen a check for a million dollars. He gladly
showed it to me; I admired it and asked him to tell me
all about how it happened to be drawn.”
You notice, don’t you, that Mr. Chalif didn’t begin by
talking about the Boy Scouts, or the jamboree in Europe,
or what it was he wanted? He talked in terms of what
interested the other man. Here’s the result:
“Presently, the man I was interviewing said: ‘Oh, by
the way, what was it you wanted to see me about?’ So I
told him.
“To my vast surprise,” Mr. Chalif continues, “he not
only granted immediately what I asked for, but much
more. I had asked him to send only one boy to Europe,
but he sent five boys and myself, gave me a letter of
credit for a thousand dollars and told us to stay in Europe
for seven weeks. He also gave me letters of introduction
to his branch presidents, putting them at our service,
and he himself met us in Paris and showed us the town.
Since then, he has given jobs to some of the boys whose
parents were in want, and he is still active in our group.
“Yet I know if I hadn’t found out what he was interested
in, and got him warmed up first, I wouldn’t have
found him one-tenth as easy to approach.”
Is this a valuable technique to use in business? Is it?
Let’s see, Take Henry G. Duvernoy of Duvemoy and
Sons, a wholesale baking firm in New York.
Mr. Duvernoy had been trying to sell bread to a certain
New York hotel. He had called on the manager
every week for four years. He went to the same social
affairs the manager attended. He even took rooms in the
hotel and lived there in order to get the business. But he
failed.
“Then,” said Mr. Duvernoy, “after studying human
relations, I resolved to change my tactics. I decided to
find out what interested this man - what caught his
enthusiasm.
“I discovered he belonged to a society of hotel executives
called the Hotel Greeters of America. He not only
belonged, but his bubbling enthusiasm had made him
president of the organization, and president of the
International
Greeters. No matter where its conventions
were
held, he would be there.
“So when I saw him the next day, I began talking
about the Greeters. What a response I got. What a
response!
He talked to me for half an hour about the
Greeters, his tones vibrant with enthusiasm. I could
plainly see that this society was not only his hobby, it
was the passion of his life. Before I left his office, he had
‘sold’ me a membership in his organization.
“In the meantime, I had said nothing about bread. But
a few days later, the steward of his hotel phoned me to
come over with samples and prices.
" ‘I don’t know what you did to the old boy,’ the steward
greeted me, ‘but he sure is sold on you!’
“Think of it! I had been drumming at that man for four
years - trying to get his business - and I’d still be drumming
at him if I hadn’t finally taken the trouble to find
out what he was interested in, and what he enjoyed talking
about.”
Edward E. Harriman of Hagerstown, Maryland, chose
to live in the beautiful Cumberland Valley of Maryland
after he completed his military service. Unfortunately,
at that time there were few jobs available in the area. A
little research uncovered the fact that a number of companies
in the area were either owned or controlled by an
unusual business maverick, R. J. Funkhouser, whose
rise from poverty to riches intrigued Mr. Harriman.
However, he was known for being inaccessible to job
seekers. Mr. Harriman wrote:
"I interviewed a number of people and found that his
major interest was anchored in his drive for power and
money. Since he protected himself from people like me
by use of a dedicated and stern secretary, I studied her
interests and goals and only then I paid an unannounced
visit at her office. She had been Mr. Funkhouser’s orbiting
satellite for about fifteen years. When I told her I
had a proposition for him which might translate itself
into financial and political success for him, she became
enthused. I also conversed with her about her constructive
participation in his success. After this conversation
she arranged for me to meet Mr. Funkhouser.
“I entered his huge and impressive office determined
not to ask directly for a job. He was seated behind a large
carved desk and thundered at me, ‘How about it, young
man?' I said, ‘Mr. Funkhouser, I believe I can make
money for you.’ He immediately rose and invited me to
sit in one of the large upholstered chairs. I enumerated
my ideas and the qualifications I had to realize these
ideas, as well as how they would contribute to his personal
success and that of his businesses.
" 'R. J.,' as he became known to me, hired me at once
and for over twenty years I have grown in his enterprises
and we both have prospered.”
Talking in terms of the other person’s interests pays
off for both parties. Howard Z. Herzig, a leader in the
field of employee communications, has always followed
this principle. When asked what reward he got from it,
Mr. Herzig responded that he not only received a different
reward from each person but that in general the reward
had been an enlargement of his life each time he
spoke to someone.
