Chapter Nineteen ~
GET RID OF THAT GUILT FEELING ~
Pilot No. 19
You have a guilt
feeling. That's good!
But get rid of that feeling of guilt.
A sense of guilt is good. And every living person regardless
of how good or bad he may be will sometimes experience a
feeling to guilt. This feeling is the result of a "still,
small voice" speaking to you. And your conscience is that
"still, small voice."
Now think for a moment: What would happen if one did not feel
a sense of guilt after doing wrong? For the person who does
not have a feeling of guilt for doing a specific wrong act is
often unable to distinguish between right and wrong-or hasn't
been trained to know the difference between right and wrong as
regards that act. Or he may not be sane.
For many feelings of guilt are inherited. And others are
acquired
We know a mental conflict often will develop when inherited
emotions and passions are bridled by the society in which one
lives; and people in one environment may have an entirely
different code ot ethics that is opposed to the code of those
in another. Yet in each instance where the individual has been
taught a specific, ethical standard and violates it, he
develops a feeling of guilt.
In some instances, however, the violation of a moral standard
of society is good because the standard itself may be bad.
And we reiterate: a feeling of guilt is good: It even motivate
persons of the highest moral standards to worthwhile thought
and action.
For there was a righteous man who hated and unrelentingly
persecuted people of a religious minority. But he developed a
feeling of guilt. And the world knows he righted his wrong
when his feelings of guilt motivated him to desirable action.
For he became a great evangelist. And his thoughts, words, and
actions have changed the history of the world during the past
two thousand years. Saul of Tarsus was his name.
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And then there was a man whose feeling of guilt for what he
believed to be the misdeeds of his life made him so remorseful
that he, too, was motivated to desirable action. In prison he
spent his days writing a book. And his book is a classic
reference for teaching nobility of character and beauty of
life. John Bunyan was his name.
And then there was also the sinner we discussed in Chapter
Fifteen who donated a half million dollars to the Chicago Boys
Clubs and who also donated a million dollars to his church.
Now he did this to atone in part for his guilt. For he
provided money to prevent boys and girls from falling into the
traps and snares of life that he had experienced.
Even a benefactor to mankind like Dr. Albert Schweitzer was
motivated by the sense of guilt. For he felt guilty that he
had fallen short of his responsibilities to his fellowmen. And
because he could, but was not, doing something worthwhile, his
sense of guilt prompted him to start his great mission.
Now do you see that a feeling of guilt with PMA is good? But
then there is a feeling of guilt with NMA. And that is bad.
For not every guilt feeling brings about beneficial results.
Now when the individual has a guilt feeling and does not get
rid of that guilt feeling with PMA, the results are often most
harmful.
And the great psychologist Sigmund Freud says: "The further
our work proceeds and the deeper our knowledge of the mental
life of neurotics penetrates, the more clearly two new factors
force themselves upon our notice which demand the closest
attention as sources of resistance. . . . They can both be
included under the one description of 'need to be ill' or
'need to suffer/ . . . The first of these two factors is the
sense of guilt or consciousness of guilt----"
And Sigmund Freud is right. For feelings of guilt have
motivated men to destroy their lives, mutilate their bodies,
or injure themselves in other ways to atone for their
wrongdoing. Now today, fortunately, such methods are seldom
practiced. And they are not permitted in civilized countries.
Yet their counterpart can be found. For the conscious mind may
not feel guilty but the subconscious mind does.
And the subconscious mind never forgets.
And it uses its power as effectively as the conscious mind.
For it fulfills the need of the individual who doesn't rid
himself of the feeling of guilt with PMA. It makes him ill. It
makes him suffer.
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A guilt feeling can teach you consideration for others.
Consideration for others is a quality each of us has to learn
to develop. The new-born babe cares little for the comfort and
convenience of any one else. He wants what he wants when he
wants it. So right at that point in his development he begins
to learn, little by little, that there are others alive, too,
and that, to some extent at least, he will have to allow them
some consideration. But selfishness is a common human trait,
and it lessens in each of us only through development. When we
get old enough to understand that such feelings are not good,
we feel a twinge of guilt when we indulge in selfishness. This
is good, for it causes us to think twice when the occasion
arises and we can choose between pleasing ourselves or
pleasing others concerned.
Thomas Gunn's six-year-old grandson was visiting him at his
home in Cleveland, Ohio. The youngster would run to the corner
every evening to meet his grandfather when he returned from
work. This made the grandfather very happy. When the youngster
met him, he would give his grandson a small bag of candy.
One day the boy ran to the corner and greeted his grandfather
in excitement and anticipation with: 'Where's my candy?" The
elderly gentleman tried to conceal his emotion. "Did you meet
me every evening/* he hesitated before continuing, "just for a
bag of candy?" The boy was handed the small bag that his
grandfather had taken out of his pocket. Nothing more was said
as they walked to the house. The child was hurt. He was
unhappy. He didn't eat the candy. It didn't seem desirable any
more. He had injured someone whom he loved.
That night as the six-year-old and his grandfather knelt down
and said their prayers aloud together, the youngster added one
all his own: "Please, God, let grandfather know I love him."
The boy's unhappiness and remorse because of what he had done
were good. Why? Because they forced him to take action to get
rid of that guilt feeling and make amends for what he had
done.
To get rid of that guilt feeling make amends. Feelings of
guilt can arise from many varied causes. But a sense of guilt
brings with it a feeling of indebtedness . . . indebtedness
that must be reduced and eliminated.
And this is very well illustrated by the story of the young
doctor in Lloyd C. Douglas* novel The Magnificent Obsession.
For you will recall that in that story the young man who is
the hero felt that he owed the world a debt because his Me had
been saved at the cost of the life of a great brain surgeon
who had been a real blessing to the world.
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But it was this feeling of debt which caused the young man to
become a brain specialist equal in ability to the man whose Me
he felt he had taken. And from the diary of the man who had
gone on, the young man learned a philosophy of Me which caused
him to develop a Magnificent Obsession. Thus, because of his
guilt feeling, he too became a worthwhile person.
Now every story is somebody's story. And everyday in your
daily newspaper you read somebody's story: someone like Jim
Vaus whose Me was saved in more ways than one because he
responded to an irrevocable decision to get rid of his feeling
of guilt. For he got into action.
To get rid of that guilt feeling get into action! Sometimes
people get caught in a web of wrongdoing, and they seem to be
unable to free themselves from it. For they give up trying.
And then they become more and more entangled, until finally it
takes an almost earthshaking experience to set them free. Such
was the case with Jim Vaus.
Jim Vaus is a man who h'terally owes his Me to his decision to
say "I will" and yet this decision came quite late in life.
For a good many years, Jim had been running head on into the
Commandments. He seemed to be trying to violate them all, one
by one. The first time he broke the injunction, "Thou shalt
not steal," he was still in college. One day he stole $92.74;
he went to the airport, bought a ticket, and headed for
Florida. A httle later he stole again, this time in an armed
robbery. He was caught and put in jail. Shortly thereafter he
was granted amnesty so that he could join the Army; yet even
in the Army he got into trouble. The court martial read, ". .
. for diverting government property to private use. . . ."
And so it went. Jim Vaus' career kept sliding downhill. The
more often he did wrong, the more guilt he felt. Guilt leads
to guilt, as well as lies and deception to hide it.
Now Jim didn't consciously feel more guilty because his
conscious sense of guilt had become deadened. But not so with
his subconscious mind. For that's where the guilt feeling
accumulated without Jim's realizing it.
And, as in the instances you often read of in your newspaper,
it took an earthshaking experience to awaken him.
Now Vaus was eventually released from the Army; he married and
moved to CaMornia where he set up an electronics consultant
business. One day a man known simply as Andy came to Jim and
outlined a big idea for beating the races with an electronic
device, Within weeks Jim was deeply involved with the
underworld. And he was driving a nine thousand dollar car. He
had a fine home it the suburbs, and more business than he
could handle.
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One day Jim had an argument with his wife. She wanted to know
where all the money was coming from, and he wouldn't say. So
she started to cry. Jim couldn't stand to see his wife cry.
For he loved her. Jim's conscience bothered him. Because he
wanted to humor her, he suggested a ride out to the beach. On
the way, they got caught in a traffic jam: hundreds of cars
were pouring into a parking lot.
"Oh look, Jim," said Alice. "It's Billy Graham! Let's go. It
might be interesting."
And still trying to humor her, Jim went along. But shortly
after he sat down he became emotionally disturbed: It seemed
to him that Graham was talking directly to him. For Jim's
conscience bothered him so badly that it seemed he had been
singled out. Graham's text was:
"What does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and
loses his soul?"
Then Graham was saying:
"There's a man here who has heard all this before, who is
hardening his heart. With pride he stiffens his neck, and he
is determined to leave without making a decision. But this
will be his last chance."
His last chance? To Jim the thought was startling. Perhaps he
had a premonition. Or perhaps he was ready. What did the
preacher mean?
Graham was giving a call to come forward. He wanted people to
take a physical step that symbolized a decision. What was
happening, Jim wondered. Why did he feel like crying? Suddenly
he found himself speaking. "Let's go, Alice." Dutifully Alice
walked to the aisle, and turned as if to go out of the tent.
Jim, who was following^ her, caught her arm and turned her
around.
"No, dear," he said. "This way...."
Years later, after Jim had changed his life completely, he was
giving a speech in Los Angeles. And then he told of his
experiences with the underworld. He told about the day of his
decision, on which day he had been instructed to fly to St.
Louis on a wiretapping assignment. "I never reached St.
Louis," he said. "I found the courage to reach my knees
instead."
And in his speech Jim told of his blessings and how he had I
thanked God for them, asked for forgiveness, had tried to
neutralize his wrongdoing, and stressed the application of the
Golden Eul"
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After the lecture, a lady came up to him and said, "Mr. Vaus,
1 think you might like to know something. I was working in the
Mayor's office at the time you were supposed to go to St.
Louis. On that day a teletype was received from the FBI. It
said, Mr. Vaus, that you were going to be met in St. Louis by
a rival gang. And shot dead."
A recommended formula for getting rid of guilt. Your own "last
chance" may not be as dramatic as this. But there is a
wonderful lesson in the story of Jim Vaus, nonetheless. How
was Jim able to get rid of his guilt feelings? He did it by
following a clear cut pattern. It is the pattern all of us can
follow.
. . . First of all, you listen as you hear advice, a lecture, an inspirational sermon that could change your life.
. . . Then you count your blessings, and thank God for them. Feel sincerely sorry and ask for forgiveness. When you realize your blessings, it isn't difficult to become sincerely sorry for the wrongs you have done. And truly to repent. Then you will have the courage to ask for forgiveness from God.
. . . You must take the first step forward. This is important because it is a symbol through a physical gesture that you make in the direction of a changed life. When Jim walked down the aisle, he was making a public announcement that he had become sorry for his past and was now ready to change his life.
. . . Also, you must make amends by taking the second step forward: begin immediately to right every wrong.
. . . And then the most important step of all: apply the Golden Rule. This should be easy. For now when you are tempted to do wrong, that "still, small voice" will whisper to you. And when it does, stop and listen. Count your blessings. Picture yourself in the other fellow's place. And then make your decision to do what you would want done if you actually were in his position.
So this is the formula
for getting rid of your guilt feelings. If you are having
trouble with temptation, and if subsequent guilt is keeping
you from using your energy in a constructive direction, learn
the pattern for freedom from guilt. Relate it to your own
life. Apply it. And step away toward success.
Success Through a Positive Mental Attitude urges you to use
the powers of your conscious and subconscious mind to:
• Seek the truth.
• Motivate you to take constructive action.
• Cause you to strive to achieve the highest ideals you can conceive,
• live intelligently in your society.
• Help you abstain from that which will cause unnecessary injury.
• Start you from where you are and get you to where you want to be regardless of what you are or what you have been.
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Anything which deters you from noble achievements in life
should be cast aside. And this places upon you the burden to
know or find out what is right or wrong, and to know what is
good or evil under a given circumstance and at a given time.
You are acquainted with the Ten Commandments, the Golden Rule,
and other standards of good in the society in which you live.
And it is for you to determine the standards which will guide
you to your desired goals.
"It is one thing to know the goal, and quite another thing to
work toward it," writes Msgr. Fulton J. Sheen in Life Is Worth
Living. Choose your goal. Work toward them! Direct your
thoughts, control your emotions, get into action and you
ordain your destiny. You can find the answer if you keep
seeking it. How? One important aid is to "catch character."
Catch. "Character is something that is caught, not taught,"
was a thought-provoking quotation of Arthur Burger, Executive
Director of the Boys Clubs of Boston. It appeared in a Readers
Digest article entitled "400,000 Boys Are Members of the
Club."
Catch has two distinct meanings: (1) "affected by exposure to
environment" (often subconscious reaction); and (2) "seize and
hold" (conscious action).
One effective way to catch character is to place yourself or
your children in an environment that will develop desirable
thoughts, motives, and habits. If your selected environment is
not sufficiently effective after a reasonable time, make
substitutions and changes.
But character can also be taught. And if parents would devote
more time to teaching character, both by precept and example,
their children would catch and learn this admirable quality so
necessary for success.
What makes a delinquent? E. E. Bauermeister, Supervisor of
Education at the California Institution for Men at Chino,
California, says: "Our youngsters need the guidance in
choosing right from wrong which they should receive at home .
. . when we start talking about juvenile delinquency, we
should rename it and put the responsibility where it belongs.
We have a case of parent delinquency in America today. Parents
are not assuming the obligations and responsibilities that are
theirs,
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"Everyone has been born with a potential of good character. .
. ."
J. Edgar Hoover made this statement: "You can read volumes
upon volumes as to the cause of crime, but crime is literally
caused by the lack of one thing, a feeling of moral
responsibility on the part of people."
And the reason the people lack a feeling of moral
responsibility is because they lack a guilt feeling. Thus they
do not develop their own characters, for their conscience is
dulled and doesn't guide them. And from their faulty immoral
and amoral characters their children can neither catch nor
learn character.
When one virtue is in conflict with another. . . . Sometimes
it is not so easy to decide whether one should say yes or no.
For the question to be resolved may involve a conflict between
virtues. And every person at some time is faced with such a
conflict and must make a decision. He must choose: between
what he wishes to do and what he ought to do; or between what
he wants and what society expects of him.
And such a choice must necessarily be made between virtues,
such as: love, duty, and loyalty. As examples:
(a) love and duty to a parent in conflict with the love and duty to a husband or wife;
(b) loyalty to an individual in conflict with loyalty to another individual; or
(c) loyalty to an individual in conflict with loyalty to an organization or society.
Let's illustrate with
the story of the salesmen who worked with George Johnson. For
they were faced with a conflict between loyalty to an
individual and loyalty to another individual and the
organization he represented.
George Johnson trained, encouraged, inspired, and financed a
salesman whom we will call John Black. George had complete
confidence in John. He liked him. He gave him a break. He let
him service his best customers long established accounts. In
the company contract it was agreed that in the event of
termination the salesman would in no way molest the company's
business or interfere with its sales organization. Mr. Johnson
gave Black the book Think and Grow Rich. It motivated John to
action-the wrong action! John didn't read what was unwritten.
His only interest was the acquisition of money. He believed
the end justified any means. Because of his negative standards
he responded aggressively with a negative mental attitude.
"George Johnson is just like a father to me. Yes, I think of
him as a father," the salesman said, but at the same time he
secretly planned to transfer the company's customers and sales
force to a competing concern for money.
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John was welcomed in the homes of his fellow salesmen. For
they were unaware of his thoughts or plans. When he called at
their homes he relied upon the honesty and decency of the
individuals to live up to a promise and not to betray his
secret. He would ask, "How would you like to double your
earnings? How would you like to have greater security?" The
response would be: "Sounds good! What's it all about?"
Black would answer, "I don't want anyone to upset the apple
cart; therefore, I'll tell you only if you promise me on your
honor not to tell anyone. Do you make a solemn promise?"
When the answer was yes, he endeavored to entice them over to
the competing organization. He tried to neutralize their pangs
of conscience by referring to real or imaginary
dissatisfactions.
The other salesmen were "on the spot." On the one hand, they
had given John their solemn promise not to tell what he was
doing. On the other hand, they knew what he was doing would be
harmful to their employer. And they owed a greater loyalty to
George Johnson and the organization he represented.
The salesmen had the courage to try to clear the cobwebs of
John's thinking and to show him that what he was contemplating
was not right. When he didn't respond but persisted in his own
way, they knew what to do: They gave George Johnson the facts.
They chose adherence to the virtue of loyalty to their
employer. As Abraham Lincoln once put it: they chose to "stand
with anyone that stands right; stand with him while he is
right and part from him when he goes wrong."
These salesmen showed their true characters when they made
their decision. They showed that they were men of courage,
honesty, and loyalty. They knew how to decide between right
and wrong when one virtue was in conflict with another.
There are many such conflicts. In your Me you will be faced
with the necessity to make decisions in instances where
virtues are in conflict with other virtues. And what will your
decision be? Perhaps the following will aid you:
Do that which your conscience tells you will not develop a
guilt feeling. It's the right thing to do. To assist you in
coming to the right decision under such circumstances,
complete the Success Quotient Analysis in the following
chapter.
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11
Pilot No. 19
THOUGHTS TO STEER BY
GET RID OF THAT GUILT FEELING
1. You have a guilt feeling. That's good! But get rid of that guilt feeling!
2. To get rid of that guilt feeling, make amends.
3. A recommended formula to help you get rid of guilt is:(a) Listen to advice, a lecture, sermon, etc., and relate and assimilate the principles.
(b) Count your blessings and thank God for them.
(c) Then become truly sorry for your wrongdoings. True sorrow necessarily incorporates a sincere decision to stop the wrongdoing.
(d) Take the first step forward: Acknowledge your guilt and your intention to make amends.
(e) Make amends insofar as you are able.
(f) Apply the Golden Rule.4. Anything which deters you from noble achievements in life should be cast aside.
5. Character can be caught and taught.
6. What do you do when two virtues are in conflict with one another?
7. The burden is upon you to find what is right or wrong, and to know what is good or evil under a given circumstance and at a given time.
YOU HAVE A GUILT FEELING
THAT'S GOOD. BUT GET RID
OF THAT GUILT FEELING