So, if you want to win people to your way of thinking,
put in practice
PRINCIPLE 9
Be sympathetic with the other person’s
ideas
and desires.
10.
AN APPEAL THAT
EVERYBODY LIKES
I
was reared on the edge of the Jesse James country out
in Missouri, and I visited the James farm at Kearney,
Missouri, where the son of Jesse James was then
living.
His wife told me stories of how Jesse robbed trains
and held up banks and then gave money to the neighboring
farmers to pay off their mortgages.
Jesse James probably regarded himself as an idealist
at heart, just as Dutch Schultz, "Two Gun” Crowley, Al
Capone and many other organized crime “godfathers”
did generations later. The fact is that all people you meet
have a high regard for themselves and like to be fine and
unselfish in their own estimation.
J. Pierpont Morgan observed, in one of his analytical
interludes, that a person usually has two reasons for
doing a thing: one that sounds good and a real one.
The person himself will think of the real reason. You
don’t need to emphasize that. But all of us, being idealists
at heart, like to think of motives that sound good.
So, in order to change people, appeal to the nobler
motives.
Is that too idealistic to work in business? Let’s see.
Let’s take the case of Hamilton J. Farrell of the Farrell-Mitchell
Company of Glenolden, Pennsylvania. Mr. Farrell
had a disgruntled tenant who threatened to move.
The tenant’s lease still had four months to run; nevertheless,
he served notice that he was vacating immediately,
regardless of lease.
"These people had lived in my house all winter - the
most expensive part of the year,” Mr. Farrell said as he
told the story to the class, “and I knew it would be difficult
to rent the apartment again before fall. I could see
all that rent income going over the hill and believe me,
I saw red.
“Now, ordinarily, I would have waded into that tenant
and advised him to read his lease again. I would have
pointed out that if he moved, the full balance of his rent
would fall due at once - and that I could, and would,
move to collect.
“However, instead of flying off the handle and making
a scene, I decided to try other tactics. So I started like
this: ‘Mr. Doe,’ I said, ‘I have listened to your story,
and I still don’t believe you intend to move. Years in
the renting business have taught me something about
human nature, and I sized you up in the first place as
being a man of your word. In fact, I’m so sure of it that
I’m willing to take a gamble.
" ‘Now, here’s my proposition. Lav your decision on
the table for a few days and think it over. If you come
back to me between now and the first of the month,
when your rent is due, and tell me you still intend to
move, I give you my word I will accept your decision as
final. I will privilege you to move and admit to myself
I’ve been wrong in my judgment. But I still believe
you’re a man of your word and will live up to your contract.
For after all, we are either men or monkeys - and
the choice usually lies with ourselves!’
“Well, when the new month came around, this gentleman
came to see me and paid his rent in person. He and
his wife had talked it over, he said - and decided to stay.
They had concluded that the only honorable thing to do
was to live up to their lease.”
When the late Lord Northcliffe found a newspaper
using a picture of him which he didn’t want
published, he wrote the editor a letter. But did he say, “Please do
not publish that picture of me any more; I don’t like it”?
No, he appealed to a nobler motive. He appealed to the
respect and love that all of us have for motherhood. He
wrote, “Please do not publish that picture of me any
more. My mother doesn’t like it.”
When John D. Rockefeller, Jr., wished to stop newspaper
photographers from snapping pictures of his children,
he too appealed to the nobler motives. He didn’t,
say: “I don’t want their pictures published.” No, he appealed
to the desire, deep in all of us, to refrain from
harming children. He said: “You know how it is, boys.
You’ve got children yourselves, some of you. And you
know it’s not good for youngsters to get too much publicity.”
When Cyrus H. K. Curtis, the poor boy from Maine,
was starting on his meteoric career, which was destined
to make him millions as owner of The Saturday Evening
Post and the Ladies’ Home Journal, he couldn’t afford to
pay his contributors the prices that other magazines
paid. He couldn’t afford to hire first-class authors to
write for money alone. So he appealed to their nobler
motives. For example, he persuaded even Louisa May
Alcott, the immortal author of Little Women, to write for
him when she was at the flood tide of her fame; and he
did it by offering to send a check for a hundred dollars,
not to her, but to her favorite charity.
Right here the skeptic may say: “Oh, that stuff is all
right for Northcliffe and Rockefeller or a sentimental
novelist. But, I’d like to see you make it work with the
tough babies I have to collect bills from!”
You may be right. Nothing will work in all cases - and
nothing will work with all people. If you are satisfied
with the results you are now getting, why change? If you
are not satisfied, why not experiment?
At any rate, I think you will enjoy reading this
true story told by James L. Thomas, a former student of
mine:
Six customers of a certain automobile company refused
to pay their bills for servicing. None of the customers
protested the entire bill, but each claimed that some
one charge was wrong.
In each case, the customer had
signed for the work done, so the company knew it was
right - and said so. That was the first mistake.
Here are the steps the men in the credit department
took to collect these overdue bills. Do you suppose they
succeeded?
1. They called on each customer and told him
bluntly that they had come to collect a bill that was
long past due.
2. They made it very plain that the company was
absolutely and unconditionally right; therefore he,
the customer, was absolutely and unconditionally
wrong.
3. They intimated that they, the company, knew
more about automobiles than he could ever hope to
know. So what was the argument about?
4. Result: They argued.
Did any of these methods reconcile the customer and
settle the account? You can answer that one yourself.
At this stage of affairs, the credit manager was about to
open fire with a battery of legal talent, when fortunately
the matter came to the attention of the general manager.
The manager investigated these defaulting clients and
discovered that they all had the reputation of paying
their bills promptly, Something was wrong here - something
was drastically wrong about the method of collection.
So he called in James L. Thomas and told him to
collect these “uncollectible” accounts.
Here, in his words, are the steps Mr. Thrrmas
took:
1. My visit to each customer was likewise to collect a bill
long past due - a bill that we knew was absolutely right.
But I didn’t say a word about that. I explained I had called
to find out what it was the company had done, or failed to
do.
2. I made it clear that, until I had heard the customer’s
story, I had no opinion to offer. I told him the company
made no claims to being infallible.
3. I told him I was interested only in his car, and that he
knew more about his car than anyone else in the world; that
he was the authority on the subject.
4. I let him talk, and I listened to him with all the interest
and sympathy that he wanted - and had expected.
5. Finally, when the customer was in a reasonable mood,
I put the whole thing up to his sense of fair play. I appealed
to the nobler motives. “First,” I said, "I want you to know
I also feel this matter has been badly mishandled. You’ve
been inconvenienced and annoyed and irritated by one of
our representatives. That should never have happened. I’m
sorry and, as a representative of the company, I apologize.
As I sat here and listened to your side of the story, I could
not help being impressed by your fairness and patience.
And now, because you are fair - minded and patient, I am
going to ask you to do something for me. It’s something that
you can do better than anyone else, something you know
more about than anyone else. Here is your bill; I know it is
safe for me to ask you to adjust it, just as you would do if
you were the president of my company. I am going to leave
it all up to you. Whatever you say goes.”
Did he adjust the bill? He certainly did, and got quite a
kick out of it, The bills ranged from $150 to $400 - but did
the customer give himself the best of it? Yes, one of them
did! One of them refused to pay a penny of the disputed
charge; but the other five all gave the company the best of
it! And here’s the cream of the whole thing: we delivered
new cars to all six of these customers within the next two
years!
“Experience has taught me,” says Mr. Thomas, "that
when no information can be secured about the customer,
the only sound basis on which to proceed is to assume
that he or she is sincere, honest, truthful and willing and
anxious to pay the charges, once convinced they are correct.
To put it differently and perhaps mare clearly, people
are honest and want to discharge their obligations.
The exceptions to that rule are comparatively few, and I
am convinced that the individuals who are inclined to
chisel will in most cases react favorably if you make
them feel that you consider them honest, upright and fair."
